Moonlit Dreamer
by Opacus
Summary: Yue has chosen to accept Sakura as his Mistress, but he's fading fast. Is it just his magic or can a Guardian truly die through lack of will to live? Can Touya do anything to help his fading friend? Can my summaries ever correctly describe my stories? TYY
1. If, sometimes, I see the sun

Well here we have the latest stab from the recesses of my mind. I just got this sudden urge to read Card Captor fanfics, and then watch it, and then write it! For my Death Note readers, I haven't forgotten about you I'm just all out of juice there and can't seem to come up with anything. For my Gargoyles readers, see the previous statement. But I feel good things about this story and I really think it's gonna go somewhere! Song for this chapter is "Beautiful Dreamer". So without further adieu, welcome to Moonlit Dreamer chapter one! ~Squee.~

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_Chapter One: If, sometimes, I see the sun…_

The room's dark stone was so different from the rest of the mansion, but it melded so well with the building above it. Wood and paint ended as it was replaced with a solid floor of hard stonework, smoothed over carefully by masterful hands. The walls were equally smoothed over, though the day's work had left them with some changes from their usually blank nature. Shades of blue and silver adorned them in intricate patterns, twisting around the dark room and blossoming into an overall beautiful, if confusing, detailed collection of runes and carefully placed lines. Those very same lines came down to the floor to meet with a continuation of the pattern above, though now with additions glittering about.

Those additions were specific; four clear and painstakingly carved pieces of crystal, aligned to the cardinal directions with much care, further out rested eight pure white pearls, aligned again to the cardinal and the intermediate directions. The center of the room, though, was glistening purely with the light of the candles in the corners reflecting against a smooth area of pure moonstone, its many colors showing softly and giving the room a gentle glow. No light came from the room's only window though, the full moon being its bright self, so the window situated at the top of the eastern wall just at ground level let in a glimmer of light over the room right now.

_Ah the east,_ thought the room's occupant, _love, the future, new beginnings, salvation... _"Well no sense in wit-wandering while I've something to do." The figure was clothed in dark robes, with white visible beneath them and long dark hair that fell behind his back, held with a loose ponytail. Wise eyes gazed out from the glasses on the face of the man that stepped down into the appointed spot for him, moving his hands outwards and taking in a deep breath as he fell within himself, concentrating. Such a spell as was about to take place required intense concentration and words could only distract from such while he was focusing.

As such, the carefully placed lines silently began to glow their respective colors, which reflected off and through the various gemstones in the room and caused it to fill with a bright, yet soft and soothing glow of what could only be described as moonlight on earth. The brilliance of it all seeped into the dark stones that made up the walls and soon a light wind could be felt circling. It was soft, but it grew in strength and soon the shimmering colors began to swirl the room with it, the only part of the room that firmly stood out was the dark-clothed magician working the magic, his robes and hair being pulled and tossed about.

It wasn't long before the lights all began to gather towards the center on that smoothed and perfect circle of moonstone, condensing into something else entirely. It was a being, one whose shape was hard to see at first but clearly came into focus as the lights began to dim in the room. Its… _no, his_ remarked the magician to himself as he looked over the nude figure sitting in the circle, his skin was pale and soft with silver hair that draped over his lithe yet toned form. His strength was subtle, and as his eyes, so pale blue they were silver, opened he looked towards the other figure in this dark place that was wholly new to him. He didn't know the words, but he somehow already loved that darkly clad figure that had formed him and gave him flesh. That figure came closer towards the new creation, kneeling down to get a better look into his eyes he spoke, "I am Clow Reed, and you my newly born one, I believe I shall call you Yue. It fits you, I think." A hand reached over to stroke one of Yue's wings and the pale one shivered, smiling at his father.

"Yue…" the soft, contemplating voice of the angelic one spoke out to the room, accepting a hand offered to help him stand as he was led off by an obviously exhausted Clow Reed.

With a light tug and a gentle nudge the darkly clad magician said, "First matter of business, Yue, clothes."

Yue followed the dark stranger up the stairwell and along a corridor, studying every inch of the place. It had wooden walls stained beautifully with deep blue wallpaper above them, and the way so far was lit by candles. The winged one stepped with a light grace, almost barely heard if not for the occasional mutter of something not understood. Only a newborn, everything was awe-inspiring to the angelic figure, and then his attention was diverted by Clow as the magician walked over towards him and began to dress him in a robe that looked designed specifically for him. He was guided into it one sleeve at a time before it was tied off around the waist and the magician nodded his head with approval, the silvery white and blue cloth flowing around his form and draped around him like it was always part of him.

"Yes I think that will do quite nicely for now, Yue," Clow spoke before motioning the winged one to follow him once more.

****

Yue stood up from the bed he was laying in and walked over towards the window of the room, placing his head against the cool glass and closing his eyes, silvery hair draping around his face as the moonlight outside illuminated the moon angel. That dream again. With a soft sigh he muttered, "Clow.. Master." Everything was neat and orderly inside of Yukito's room, straightened and with his clothes for the next day folded and placed on top of his dresser. Looking around it was hard to tell that an otherworldly being lived here under human guise. Said being's eyes opened silently looking up at the moon with a yearning on his face, "she's lovely, but she's not you, Master. How can anyone replace you? Judge.."

He reached up with one of his hands to finger the soft cloth that draped around him before placing his hands against the window and watching the night sky. It was a clear day, with a waxing moon standing in the sky, beautiful and proud. It would be the full moon soon. Yue didn't think he'd be able to handle that. His fingers brushed against the glass and he looked more a prisoner in a cell than someone in their room. "I can't judge her, I don't need to. Nobody can replace you, Master." He moved over towards the bay window and sat down gracefully, one of his indulgences when choosing Yukito's 'grandparent's house'. The moon's light shining over him made him seem to glow in the otherwise dark room and he leaned against the pillows placed there as his thoughts drifted.

_Yue was resting his head against the leg of the magician as he sat in his favorite chair, two large windows letting the light of sunset pour into the room. The golden form of Cerberus lay beside them, curled up close by and watching the two. The silvery angel moved his eyes up to look at the face of the one he had wrapped himself against, the eyes glistening with the colors of moonstone as they faded from one to the other with the light, "master," he spoke into the quiet room, pausing to offer a small, scarcely-seen smile to the sitting figure, "it's a beautiful night, isn't it?"_

_The magician nodded, taking a moment to appreciate the way his guardians had situated themselves, with the sun wrapped around the chair on one side and the moon draped partially over him, long hair and wings wrapping over to the other side making them look almost like a gold and silver yin-yang symbol. "That it is, Yue." He idly reached over and stroked silver hair, the laying golden one offering Clow a nudge with his nose and a growling chuckle._

"_Especially now that the persistent tree is blooming, every year it just waits and waits." Cerberus tilted his head and adjusted himself so he was resting comfortably once more. "Seems like one day it might just choose not to bloom at all."_

The moon guardian wrapped an arm around his leg and pulled it closer towards himself, head moving to press his forehead against his knee as he withdrew into himself, mind dancing inside of his memories. Memories that lashed against him as painfully as any whip tore through the mind of the one who lived so heavily in the past.

_Clow sat down in his favorite red chair, dark stained wood pleasantly accentuating the blue tone of the rest of the room. He had that ever-present smile on his face as he looked up at his two guardians and Yue said almost violently as he threw an arm to the side and stepped forwards, "explain to me, Clow! What does this mean?"_

_The magician, that damned ever-smiling, lovely, heartbreakingly beautiful magician just said in his pleasant and calm voice, "it means just what I said, Yue." Without so much as even batting an eyelash or skipping a breath he continued with those haunting words, "I will leave this world today."_

_The golden sun, Cerberus, ducked his head and said sadly, "that's a joke I really can't laugh at." The reply of, "unfortunately, it's not a joke," did nothing at all to help the temperament of the silvery moon._

_Yue scowled at the magician's words, leaning forwards and looking at Clow with a hurt and angry look to his face as he said, "why!?" So much couldn't be put into that one word, but it seemed to accurately convey his feelings at the time._

_The dark-clad magician answered with the same damned casual voice, "Because my life span is over." One of them muttered vaguely, "lifespan?" before the angel took the center of attention again._

"_You have a twisted mind, but Clow Reed is the greatest sorcerer in the world!" He motioned to himself and the lion beside him, "we, those who were created by you, know that the best!" He was pleading now, angry and betrayed and just begging this to be another one of the magician's pranks._

_Clow continued, his tone sounding a bit sad now, but it had barely changed at all. He seemed almost at peace with the idea. "Even then, an end comes equally to any living thing. That is why I must prepare for it."_

_As the snow continued to come down in torrents outside as Yue asked in a reserved, cautious voice, "Prepare for what?" Cerberus seemed to be content letting Yue ask all the questions so far and Clow responded once more._

"_Preparations for the person that will cherish you after I pass away," said the sorcerer, as if it was just any other day._

Yue very nearly sobbed into his knee as he drowned in his memory, speaking what he'd said at the time as if he was there, "I don't want another master." His attentions, however, were diverted as the alarm clock buzzed and he grumbled, walking over to lie back in the bed before his wings wrapped around himself and he brought his disguise to the forefront, his own thoughts tucking neatly away in the back of the mind as he let Yukito wake up and rub his eyes, stand up to walk over and turn the alarm clock off, and by then Yue was decidedly not paying too much attention, as the Judge he had to make sure he wasn't letting Yukito's actions influence his decisions.

****

_Huh? He's sleeping…_ The moon guardian wondered to himself, _this doesn't feel like the bed. _And then suddenly he felt a pulling on his being as Yukito's body was pulled upwards by a gust of wind, the echo of wings folding around the form as Yue was revealed before a young girl and Cerberus. The lion moved to stand partially in front of the girl, _Sakura_, he pulled from Yukito's mind. _As I thought, I'll have to put this girl down._

Said girl watched in awe and confusion her friend was transformed into something that looked decidedly not as friendly. It was like looking up at an angel, floating there near them, "wh- who are you?" Cerberus looked saddened and protective as he stood next to her, muttering.

"Yue," spoke the proud beast, "the Clow Cards' other guardian." Sakura's eyes went wide, the figure's hair was long, and it floated as gently as the moon creature did as he studied the area, keeping his eyes locked on the girl.

Sakura gasped softly, "This person is… Yue." She brought her hands up under her chin and squealed, "eeeh!? What? Then what happened to Yukito?"

The teacher then spoke up from where she was watching the scene play out, "Tsukishiro is Yue." Sakura could only exclaim, "What!?" as she backed away.

Yue offered Cerberus a light, and rare, smile as he looked over his brother. _So long… _Deciding to voice his thoughts he said, "Been a long time, huh? Cerberus." And just like that the smile was gone in a flash, replaced by a solemn and serious look at the next words from Cerberus.

"I've been caught off guard." He seemed so surprised, and yet so saddened by what he was saying. His face used to look so cheerful all the time; _he must be missing Clow as well._ "The guardians of the Clow Cards," the sun continued, "are always close to the owner of the Clow Cards. You'd been at Sakura's side the whole time, as a friend of her big brother Touya." The lion shook his head, "You'd been hiding all traces of your powers until you were back in your original form. While Sakura and the kid were collecting the cards, I was regaining my magical powers bit by bit. Of course I had become more and more able to sense the moon but," he turned his head to look towards the teacher, "It seems I've been fooled because this lady here had such strong powers of the moon." He looked back towards the patient, hovering angel that was listening with calm, "No matter how much you hid your presence, to think that I didn't know all this time, with you so close to us. The other guardian of the Clow that was created, Yue, the name of the moon in Chinese…" He watched the teacher again, "you knew all that, didn't you miss?"

The woman stood off to the side still, looking over her left shoulder towards the group almost somewhat nervously, "I was asked that during the archery match as well. Yes, I know. It was then that Cerberus seemed unable to contain his fiery persona, "You were in on this with Yue?!" He roared out. However the woman simply shook her head and said, "No, this is the first time we've met."

Then the usually perky and cheerful girl stepped between the sun and the moon, "Wait, hold up, I don't understand any of this!" She looked from one to the other, "What do you mean?"

Yue floated down towards the girl as he spoke, _might as well explain to her what is going on if she came this far_. "I am the same as Cerberus. I didn't have enough power to return to my true state, so I stayed in that state."

Tomoyo and the Li seemed to get it finally, "Then Tsukishiro is-". Li interrupted her, "Yue's other form!"

Yue placed a finger gently under Sakura's chin, drawing her closer until they were only inches from each other, "This is the first time we meet in this form, O candidate for mastery of the Clow Cards, chosen by Cerberus, the Selector." Sakura only whispered, "Yukito-kun…" her heart skipping a beat with her crush's true form so close to her.

Cerberus of course had to interfere there, with a protective, "What are you going to do to Sakura?" He wrapped his wings around the girl and Yue's eyes widened somewhat, face forming a frown.

His lips then turned upwards into a sneer, "Just as always," He floated towards the Lion, hair and wings trailing gracefully behind him, "Naïve."

Cerberus responded with a jab of, "and your personality is as bad as ever." Well just because they hadn't seen each other in what had felt like ages, and likely were, didn't mean that the two brothers wouldn't make stabs at each other whenever they were able to.

Sakura, however, decided to panic then and there as she watched the two, "What do you mean what is he going to do to me!?" Cerberus turned towards her again, "I caught all the cards so I prevented the disaster, right?"

With a sigh, Cerberus shook his head, "Once you've caught all the cards, there is the Last Judgment."

With an annoyed look, and it took a lot to read Yue's looks unless you'd been around him a while else his face simply looked withdrawn the entire time, the moon looked up towards the one in green, "however, it seems there is another who holds the cards." The boy took on a fighting stance and Yue floated upwards once more, standing tall in the air and watching the two children with a look of distant contempt, "For someone who could not gather all the cards by herself the Last Judgment is a waste of time."

The sun then took on his usual grin, "No, I think Sakura will be able to do something about you."

Yue turned only his eyes towards the lion to his left, saying coldly, "you are too easy on them." Which was responded to with an argument of, "and you're too mean". Yue's eyes narrowed before he floated up high into the air, wings spread out until he was standing in front of the full moon, the light playing over his features and shadowing his face as he spoke again, "then let the Last Judgment begin." He withheld a sigh at the waste of his time. "First," he spoke to the boy, floating his body up to deposit him on the roof. "I, Yue the Judge, will now conduct the Last Judgment." He lifted a hand and a gentle blue glow began, forming crystals of ice in it, "using all the cards in your possession, defeat me."

It was a quick battle, with the boy trying to use his own magic against the moon guardian. _Futile, pointless, stupid boy,_ Yue thought to himself as he cut into the green-clad one with shards of ice, ripping his ceremonial robes and tainting them with blood. "I'm surprised you could get a hold of Clow Cards with just that much magic." He did manage to hold in his amusement when the boy then tried to use Time. Appearing behind him and saying, "Time is a card under _my _jurisdiction." The boy was then frozen over by the card, "this seems to be the end." He deposited the boy and let the others fuss over him for a few moments. The kid was fine, just bleeding a little and his clothing ripped a bit. "So now we have the official candidate."

With the same motion he moved Sakura up to the roof opposite him, through the barrier. The moon was large in the sky tonight, and he was well aware of how striking it made him look even before the girl gasped, "Yukito…"

Below them an interesting, if unimportant to the current undertaking, conversation was taking place between Cerberus, the teacher, and Tomoyo. The young girl spoke up, "so the entire time Yukito knew what was going on."

With a shake of his head the sun guardian dismissed that idea, "no, Yue cuts all ties between his consciousness and his disguise. He is the Judge, so the candidate doesn't sense him until the Last Judgment." The girl gasped out a quick, "then-" and the lion nodded his head to her sadly, "Yukito had been living his life thinking he was an ordinary human." No such thing as coincidences…

Well interesting and all, but Yue had a Judgment to get on with so he kept his gaze on the young girl across from him, motioning with his hand as the cards flew out around her, standing between her and the moon guardian, "Cards made by Clow, the one you desired as a new master is here. The girl chosen by Cerberus, the selector, by the name of Sakura, is this girl a suitable new mistress?" He listened to their wordless replies that echoed in his mind, cries of agreement and rages of no. He turned his attention back to the girl, "I am Yue and this is the Last Judgment."

It was then that the battle started. This one took longer than expected, but it seemed to be going just as poorly for the girl who constantly said that she wouldn't fight against him. _Pathetic. Cerberus should have chosen someone with at least a chance._ A wind picked up as Yue began to summon the magic at his disposal as the Judge, and Cerberus shouted out, "Sakura! The disaster of the world is awakening!"

"What kind of disaster?" She twisted towards the lion to ask, to which Yue only said, "forgetting…"

The wind twisted in his hair and his wings and robes flowed in it, looking like a statue of moving ice as he tilted his head back and closed his eyes, letting the magic seep into him as the girl was surrounded in vines. _Forgetting… please let me forget. Let her and all those who've seen us forget their loved ones. It could only be a blessing, Clow…_ His breath caught and he withdrew into a memory as the magic settled onto the area, swimming into the mind of the girl wrapped in vines and into the guardian's own. It wasn't long, but it _felt _like it was when suddenly the girl broke away from the vines. _She reflected the magic!_ "No!" She called out, "I can't live in a world without my loved ones! I'll do my best now." _The girl talks too mu- what!? _While he wasn't listening to what was going on the girl's staff had begun to glow, she was being guided by that damned woman apparently.

The glow spread to the area and the stars shimmered in response to her call. "What is this!?" He called out towards them, that annoying insightful woman only answered with, "a new power".

"Release!" Sakura called out, the staff shifting shape into one with a star at the top flanked by wings. "Windy! Entrap the one standing over there."

Yue didn't bother dodging, reaching out with a hand as he moved to reflect the magic back at the girl. _It's not reflecting!_ "Impossible!" The guardian realized too late, trapped by the wind that he looked at with a hurt expression, betrayal written onto his face as the girl walked closer.

"Yue," she said in that damned kind and compassionate voice, "you loved Clow very much, didn't you?" He didn't dignify that with a response. "Then you should understand that forgetting about the person you love most would be a very sad thing. I'm still a kid, and I don't know anything about magic. I only oversleep and I hate math and I can't do anything, but…" She held her arms out towards him and he fell into a kneel, it looked almost painful to Cerberus, judging by the moon guardian's face. "I already love Kero and the Clow Cards, and I'm sure I can come to love you to. No," she paused, "I already love you!" She kept her hands out towards him in a friendly manner, "I don't want to be your master, I want to be good friends."

_I've been defeated…_ Yue stood silently, looking to all the world as cold and frozen as ice as he said smoothly, "close your eyes." _I swore! I'd never take a new master, I swore damn it!_ His raging thoughts and emotions weren't even visible on his face, "hurry up." She complied. "I, Yue the Judge,"_ I refuse to say it! I won't. Clow. Is. My. Master!_ "acknowledge Sakura as our new master." She ran down towards her friends to celebrate, and Yue sighed.

He flew down to land next to her after a minute or two, placing his hands on his hips and leaning forwards slightly, a pose that made his nearly androgynous appearance only look more so, "you've become a new mistress but you can't control the guardians." Kero nodded his acknowledgment to that, adding, "but we'll be here when you need us." With that, the two retreated to their disguises and Yue threw himself deep into the recesses of his mind, letting Yukito handle things as he raged.

****

_It isn't fair! Why? You knew it was all going to happen, Clow! What is the point of a judge if the new master had already been decided!? It isn't right! You don't decide things for people like that Clow. You chose to die and leave us here and now you're just throwing us this girl.. Girl! _The mental rampage continued for some time as Yue ignored the outside passing world, diving back down into his memories of the past and trying his hardest to forget the present world around him. _Clow…_

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So how was that for the first chapter? I tried to stay loyal to the Japanese anime and the manga (didn't even bother with the dub…). I don't usually like doing long, drawn out scenes taken directly from the anime or manga but I felt it needed to be done in order to get the story started so I hope you don't mind! Anyways let's leave Yue to think over his situation and stop being quite so emo about it while we wait for the next chapter. Look for it next week around Saturday at latest. I promise not to abandon this story without at least giving it some kind of ending so stick with me here!


	2. Things my heart used to know

So not as long as the last one, yes, but I didn't want to ramble on and on just to get the word count up when some of it would better fit in the next chapter. Out much earlier than I thought it would be so here you all go. Enjoy. Song for this chapter is "Once Upon a December" from the movie Anastasia. I own it about as much as I own Card Captor Sakura. Read: not at all.

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_Chapter 2: Things my heart used to know_

Time. What was time to an immortal creature who was bound to live ages, if not longer? Yue sat on the bay window and looked out over the surrounding landscape as he thought this over. So little and yet so much time. It was only a few days ago the Mistress had passed his Judgment and now he had no choice, she was the new mistress and he had to accept that._ I never wanted another master._ Leaning back the moon guardian brushed some silvery hair out of his face and did a quick mental checkup on Yukito. Ever since the Judgment those thick walls he'd erected between him and his disguise had started coming down, or rather those thick walls between himself and the other half of his mind. _Away, locked away… _Like he was locked away inside of that book, doomed to wait patiently for a new master to come to him, one he would Judge _despite the entire judgment being a setup. Despite me having no say so in who ends up being chosen anyways, he planned for every eventuality. Clow._ As usual the guardian's breath locked in his throat at the words and he let himself go inwards, withdrawing into his mind before he heard knocking at the door. The guardian reached out mentally, _oh, Touya_.

Standing, he wrapped his wings around himself and Yukito was brought to the forefront, dazed and confused before he heard the knocking as well. Rushing, Yukito opened the door and offered Touya a smile, motioning him inside, "you're here early, I thought you didn't get off until late today?" Yuki plopped himself down happily on the couch and offered Touya one of the cookies resting on a plate. They were warm, and he didn't remember making them, but they smelled delicious. _I really don't know why I hold onto him._ The guardian had started staying conscious during Yukito's bouts of being in control lately, at least some of the time.

As Yuki's eyes watched Touya, who grinned and sat down next to him with a, "I finished up all my work and they let me go", the moon guardian sighed inwards, taking up his mental place to 'watch' the two.

Yukito kept the smile on his face as Touya accepted the cookie and he downed one of his own, licking the chocolate from a finger before he noticed the interested expression Touya was giving him at that. With a light giggle Yuki said, "Want to go out to eat then? I'm hungry."

Touya's eyes widened and then he shook his head, recalling the other night and what he'd seen when he was going to check in on his little sister, "nah its fine, I can make something for you here if you like." He took Yuki's broad smile and nod as a very firm 'yes please' and walked over to the kitchen he was so used to. How Yuki managed to keep it all clean and perfectly organized, Touya wasn't sure but he pulled out a few things from the cabinet and started on making some sandwiches for them. Well… a sandwich for himself and two long ones for Yuki who watched him with a smile and a soft sigh he was sure the younger one hadn't thought he'd heard.

Their invisible watcher observed the two from his place inside of Yuki's mind, Yuki's eyes traveled to some interesting places when Touya wasn't looking, and that soft sigh wasn't fully the seemingly carefree boy either. Yue mentally 'jumped' in alarm, withdrawing his presence a little further as Touya walked back over and handed Yuki his sandwiches. Yuki accepted his with eager thanks and began digging into it with a gusto Kero could only have rivaled if pudding had been set down, "I don't know why, but lately I can't seem to get full." Yue stopped paying attention to what was going on between the two. This boy looked entirely too much like Clow for the moon guardian's liking and he groaned while they talked, remembering something the gi- no the Mistress had said. _I can't live in a world without my loved ones._ Yuki smiled still at Touya as they ate and chat, oblivious to the guardian. _I can't live in a world without Clow_.

In the meanwhile, Yuki seemed to have grown distant while the guardian moped about in the back of his mind, though a concerned, "Yuki, you alright?" From Touya snapped him out of it and he shrugged his shoulders, "just sleepy I think." Slumping back against the couch, Yuki yawned and rested his eyes.

Touya grinned over at his friend, "go get some sleep Yuki, I'll clean up here and lock the house on my way out."

With another yawn, Yuki went upstairs to do just that. He pulled his shirt up and tossed it aside before slumping down over his bed and nuzzling his head into his pillow, drifting off to sleep, and delving into memories he didn't know he had.

****

It was still snowing, the world coated in white as wind blew the tiny frozen pieces of water around. Yue's hair lashed around him, cold as the ice and seeming unaffected by the freezing cold as he just watched the overcast sky. It was getting dark but he didn't mind, looking to all the world like a statue made of marble. It was a beautiful and breathtaking sight, but if you touched it wrong, the vision might shatter. Flakes of snow touched into his hair and robes, only adding to the illusion being built. Cerberus let out a growling sigh and he slumped down in a doorway and watched Yue stand out there and stare up at the sky impassively, only able to guess what was going through the moon guardian's mind.

"Yue," the lion called out towards the other, "Its cold and its getting dark and the snow isn't going to stop any time soon. It hasn't since this morning let's just go back inside." After what had been said that morning, he couldn't really blame the moon guardian. And after Yue's later reaction… He grumbled. It wasn't like the whole deck couldn't tell already, but cementing it like that didn't help in the slightest. He looked up as Yue spoke out softly.

"Clow…" It was the first word the angelic figure had said in hours, had said really since Clow had collapsed, and that simple word seemed to hold volumes of emotion in it. Cerberus could have sworn he'd felt the anguish and pain rather than heard it, and it only drew out his own sorrow over the loss of their master. He'd always known Yue to be distant, but he seemed to wear his heart on his sleeve when you were able to read him and right now he looked much like their master had after the death of his wife.

Cerberus stood up and braved the freezing snow to walk over towards the angel that was floating just atop the soft surface, "Yue, come on. We need to go back to the book." He nudged him with his wing, "We were his sons, not his lovers, he never intended for you to love him like that. You set yourself up for disappointment by even coming out and saying it after he admitted he was going to die today."

This seemed to provoke another, angrier response from the moon guardian as the snow that was falling around them swirled and bits of it seemed to sharpen, piercing themselves into trees and rocks, "Clow Reed doesn't die!" Even spoken still in that soft voice, the anger was as clear as if he'd been shouting it to the world, and perhaps more real because he wasn't. "Clow Reed _does _not _die_." He repeated it to himself like a mantra, more of the snow forming into the sharp, piercing icicles and swirling around the moon guardian. Cerberus backed away as the crystals suddenly stopped and pierced down into the ground, forming an icy circle around Yue, almost like a protective shield.

The moon guardian closed his eyes and threw his head back as he floated upwards, golden circling glowing beneath him as the wind swirled rapidly with the sudden increase of magical energy. Cerberus's eyes grew wide as he sensed what was going on. Yes, they had been given false forms, but to go to such an extent with it… "Yue, what are you doing!?" The moon ignored him, more icicles piercing up from the ground and splitting the circle down the center as Yue locked his mind away from his heart, throwing his love and compassion and half of his very being fully into his disguise. The pain, the loneliness he kept for himself, but if Clow wouldn't accept his feelings then nobody was able to have them, at least not from the guardian himself.

When the glow from the circle had stopped Yue alighted himself back down onto the snow with surprising grace, the typical emotions visible on his face looking even more cold and distant than before as he walked past Cerberus, "let us return to the book, we have to watch over the Cards." It was soft-spoken and dutiful, and he seemed to genuinely want to go. Cerberus followed along behind the snow angel quietly, head ducked in solemn acceptance of the day's events. Yue only whispered one word as he placed his hand on the book, "Yukito…"

****

The owner of said name woke up sweating, sitting suddenly and shaking his head at the odd dream and steadying himself as reality started coming back into view. Pushing the blankets off of himself he moved instinctively to sit down on the bay window and rest his head against the wall there. It was something he did when he needed to think, and these nightmares had started getting to him. _Always the same figure,_ Yuki thought to himself. _It feels so far away, but it feels so _real_ it hurts._ He placed his hand against the cool glass of the window, the sun was rising outside and he rolled his eyes, "I've slept all afternoon and night." Shadows danced through Yukito's mind as the dream began fading away to where dreams go once the dreamer has woken.

A man with a dark robe and glasses laughing cheerfully, he smiled softly, only seeing the image for a short time before it, too, faded away. It was raining outside and Yuki jumped up as he noticed this fact, rushing to put on his clothing and offering his grandmother a wave. She cheerfully fussed at him to not get himself sick while he ducked back inside long enough to grab a bag of chip before sitting down on the stairs outside in the rain. It wasn't long before he felt out of energy again, and the poor bag of chips never stood a chance, but he'd always loved rainy days. Something about them was just so peaceful and welcoming. Today's rainy day seemed to lack that something. Yuki drifted into a state of semi-sleep as he rested on the stairs soaking wet and not seeming to mind, Yue withdrawing his influence from Yuki's half of their mind.

It took a lot of work and effort, keeping up appearances for Yuki's sake. Yue went through a lot of effort to make his disguise think he was interacting with actual people and not just illusions and dreams shaped to look like people. Forging memories on a daily basis was rough when you had to make sure every precise detail matched up with the previous ones to form a flawless overall picture. _Especially factoring in aging, but he deserves to be happy._

Yuki stood up and went back inside, smiling at his grandmother and nodding his head reassuringly, "yes of course I'm going take a warm shower right now." With a soft sigh Yukito went upstairs and pulled off his soaking wet clothing, dropping it into a hamper inside the bathroom before turning on the water and stepping into the warm streams of water, letting them drop down over him before he reached up and worked it into his hair. _Mmn, warmth. I need to stop zoning out like that I think grandpa is getting worried._ He leaned back against the wall of the shower and reached up to rub at his eyes, "ng, hungry.. I need to eat after this."

Letting himself soak under the warm water for now, Yuki spoke aloud to himself, an old habit he tried not to indulge in when in public. "What was that dream about, I wonder? I feel like I should know something from it." He leaned forwards to adjust the temperature of the water, "it's strange, like I should recognize it, but I don't. And that weird guy, I think he had wings, but he looked kind of like me. Far away, that's what it felt like. Like something that happened a long time ago. Maybe it has something to do with past lives or something like that."

He could feel himself drifting again as he stood there, so he shook his head and began washing himself off. It wasn't a long process, at least not until you got to the hair. Yes, Yuki didn't have too much hair but what he had was in excellent condition due to how well he maintained it. Another habit he'd had as long as he could remember, and he chuckled as he scrubbed his hair clean, "mother used to fuss at me all the time for taking so long in the shower."

The water from the showerhead began to run cold and Yuki tried to hurry, standing stiffly as more cold drops fell. Drip, chill, drip, chill, he winced and grabbed at his chest. Drip, chill, drip, _stab_. Ice. It felt like ice was piercing him and pushing something away. He dropped to his knees and panted as the cold water drenched his body, feeling remembered pain from something unknown. Reaching with his hands he moved to try to turn the water off but he felt his vision slipping, and he fought to keep himself together. "To-touya…"

Yue in the meanwhile tried to push through those barriers he'd placed within himself and gain some sort of control over the situation. Yuki was finding things out he wasn't supposed to know, remembering pain that had happened to him since before he was supposed to be able to remember. Yue growled as he emerged, no easy feat, and slammed the cold water off, "it's my job to be in pain, not yours." Closing his eyes, Yue focused and pulled, bringing back down barriers and seals. It happened every so often, that tentative barrier needed to be strengthened again, but Yue swayed as he drew the magic necessary for doing so, grabbing something to help keep himself up at the momentary dizziness. With a soft sigh and a shake of his head he retreated into the background and gave Yuki control again, leaving the not-quite-as-human-as-he-thinks boy to look around the bathroom with confusion before recalling something, "Oh right, breakfast!" With a cheerful jump he dried off and got dressed again, going downstairs to fix something to eat.

****

Cerberus, or Kero as he was affectionately called now, yawned loudly and rubbed at his currently-plush face. Tossing the blanket from his small bed he pushed the drawer open and flew over to land on the windowsill and grin. Folding his arms, he watched the sun come up with a pleased look on his face, despite the clouds and rain, "Sakura's gonna be great, now if only I could get popsicles-for-brains to realize that." A mumble and some rustling to his left told him he'd have to be quieter or else wake up the sleeping card mistress. He smirked as he watched the downpour, _bet he's moping around like he usually does in the rain. Don't see why though it _is _his element and all._ He 'tsk'ed lightly.

Kero directed his attention towards Sakura as she exhaled deeply and pulled the covers closer to herself, feeling more magic than usual being drawn from Yue's side for a few moments. He muttered under his bear, "I have _got_ to talk to him about using magic while she's still transforming the cards. She barely seems able to support him as he is already." He directed his attention back outside once more, "Something funny about this rain…"


	3. Little Tradgedies

Ok I know not the longest chapter in the world. Also late. Well when you lose internet access these things do happen from time to time. However, I have regained my ideas and my connection, so here you can thank the song _Demonheart_ by Luca Turilli and _Angels_ by Within Temptation for inspiring me.

* * *

Chapter 3: Little Tragedies

Later on in the month and running to what he hoped was a safe point, Touya closed the door behind himself more quietly than he perhaps needed to and watched the room with a paranoid expression, much to the amusement of Yuki who just sat down on the sofa and began munching on some cookies that were out on the table, "she won't just pop up out of nowhere in the middle of my house, you know Toya."

Toya grimaced at that, "you can't be sure with her though. She's just.. _everywhere_. I mean damn I could swear she had some inner Touya tracker with a needle pointed directly at me." This caused an amused chuckle from the silver-haired one who was watching Touya check in every corner and crevice he could find lest the neck-leech pop out from somewhere and take them by surprise. "I'm serious Yuki, every time I get you alone somewhere she's just _bam_ outa nowhere and no idea how she got there."

With a sigh Yuki nodded his head, "yes, Ms. Akizuki does tend to make her presence known when it is least convenient." He paused and added as an afterthought, "or wanted." A light chuckle was heard as Yuki moved on from the cookies towards a bowl of blueberries, holding it out towards Touya who took a small handful and sat down to make himself comfortable. "Perhaps Ms. Akizuki simply finds herself drawn to your natural charms." A light tap was felt as a blueberry nicked Yuki in the side of the head, the thrower rolling his eyes.

"Yeah her and every other girl at school it seems. Only, in case you haven't noticed, none of the others are stalkers." He returned to eating, rather than throwing the blueberries, swallowing one as he thought something over. "Well, ok, there was that Shika chick but she was weird to begin with."

Again the light fluttering noise of Yuki's laughter filled the room as he leaned forward to grin at Touya, "wasn't that the girl who had that very _interesting_ picture of you in the shower?" Pale eyes met darker ones as the silver haired one grinned widely in remembrance, a look of gentle teasing on his face.

Touya grunted, "and showed it to every girl in school, and even some of the guys!" The last berry met its fateful end as it was crushed and swallowed. "She was a creep, Yuki. I don't even know how she got _into _my bathroom, much less how she stayed perfectly silent and unnoticed until just the right moment."

The soft laughter continued for moments longer before Yuki's face settled into simply an amused smile as he watched Touya lean back against the couch, draping an arm over the edge. Leaning forwards, he tapped a finger against the other's chest and spoke with a hint of sparkling laughter, "from the looks of that picture you were far too preoccupied to notice anything that might have been going on." With the distinct red flush to Touya's face, accompanied by an embarrassed cough, Yuki knew he'd gotten the upper hand and returned to his side of the sofa to rest his head against the back with a soft yawn.

Lifting his head up, Touya looked over his friend and around the house, taking note of the usually pristine house. Not much seemed to have changed, but it was little things. A bit more dust than usual, a glass left out on the table when there wasn't usually any, the things normal people might not notice unless they'd been to a place often. While he was looking around Yuki seemed to have zoned out, so with a sigh he reached over and gently shook him by the shoulder, "hey, you alright Yuki?" He frowned and added, "you feel cold."

Snapping up at being caught napping, Yuki yawned again and shook his head, "I'm fine Touya. I've just been kind of sleepy lately, strange dreams." His eyes narrowed slightly as he studied Touya, causing the other to shiver unconsciously as he picked up on the presence of that same strange being he always felt flittering around Yuki.

Tilting his head, Touya stared back as he was scrutinized. Something felt unusual about the presence, chilly and unusual, and he was determined to find out exactly what. _Wait, what the!?_ Yuki had passed out again, but this time his hair seemed to have lengthened and the shade brightened. _Is that.. the moon being?_

The eyes of the being snapped open, a shimmering hue that seemed to fade from a brilliant violent to a pale silvery blue with cat-like pupils. He watched the human who seemed to be growing uncomfortable with the unfamiliar magic in the area, for it was decidedly _not _his sister's magic that was hovering around this creature right now. A word came to Touya, Yun, though he wasn't quite sure what to make of it. Whatever the figure, he was gone as quick as a vision and left simply a mildly surprised Yuki waving his hand in front of Touya's face. "Toya? Are you ok Toya?"

The darker haired man shook his head, "Sorry there Yuki I guess I just zoned out for a bit." He didn't feel quite comfortable lying to his friend, but how do you go about telling someone that not only do you know they aren't who they think they are but that you just had a weird vision about them? _Cross that bridge when it comes I guess,_ Touya thought to himself.

Yuki smiled cheerfully and leaned back against the couch once more. "I guess I'm not the only one who's been sleepy lately then," he chuckled out softly and brushed a stray strand of hair from Touya's face. "If you're that sleepy you might as well spend the night. I can pull out the foldable bed and set it up for you."

With a smile of gratitude, Touya responded with a nod as he checked the clock, "yeah if I came back this late without an excuse I'd be in deep anyways." So without much more conversation, the two went to pull the bed out and set it up in the living room, Touya moving the furniture out of the way so they would room and Yuki unfolding everything and laying the spare sheet set down over it. No real arguments about the arrangement, they'd been doing it off and on since they met at school and they soon after parted ways to go get ready for bed and lay down. With a soft sigh, Touya watched the ceiling as he drifted off into sleep. _Yu-.._

~*~

Yue tossed and turned as sleep overcame his body and Yuki faded into the background to get some rest. More memories floated through his mind, sweeping him back once again into his past.

The familiar silver figure lay resting with his head against the empty red chair, eyes red and puffy though the tears they shed were silent. He looked up at Clow through those silent tears and reached a hand forwards to brush his fingers against the man's robes, "don't you love us Clow? You don't have to die. You can fix it, like you fix us when something happens."

Clow smiled sadly at his child, saying in that same unworried voice, "Oh Yue, still have so much to learn don't you?" He knelt down and stroked the silver hair of his creation, gaining him Yue's full attention. "It doesn't work that way, I'm afraid. I can heal you and your brother from almost anything because of who and what you are. With human lives, it just isn't quite that simple." He cradled his child's head against his chest, feeling slender arms wrap around his frame, "humans die, Yue. That is just how it is. We get old, and we pass away, and eventually we all die. I tried to spare you from suffering my death too long."

Unbeknownst to Clow apparently, Yue was going through an altogether different internal crisis of his own. He could feel his creator's heart beating against his skin, smell his hair as he rested his head on his shoulder.. _Oh Clow must you be this cruel to me?_ He turned his eyes away roughly from the face of his creator, "you're the greatest magician in the world, Clow. I can't believe a simple disease could be the end of you." Ice, yes that was it. He felt like ice was digging into him with the words Clow spoke, while his fingers brushed over his hair and seemed to warm his soul in a sparking contrast. The next words would ring in his heart for many years to come.

_I am only a human being, Yue._

~*~

The sleeping figure awoke to a cold sweat, not common for the typically passive and objective figure. Yue stood up and strode towards the windowsill of the room, moving to pull himself onto the ledge in front of it and look out at the dark night sky, with a darkened and pale moon out this night. He smiled though, at the slightest light that could be seen surrounding the figure hovering in the sky, but as with most expressions it faded back to his usual passiveness. Stretching out his wings, he leaned back and relaxed in the light of the moon from the window, and so nearly forgot he was still inside as one wing banged loudly into the desk next to him. He winced and hoped the figure outside the room hadn't heard, for Yuki was still asleep.

His hopes were shattered when he heard a call, "Yuki? You ok in there? I heard a strange noise."


End file.
